If tonight is any indication of what this separation will be like, then it's going to be very odd and I need your help, here because this sounds a little like cake eating to me.
H texted me earlier today to say he was planning on coming by to work (his studio is in the garage but has a separate entrance) and charge his car (it's electric and needs a 220 plug which is in the garage.
This was no prob for me. I figured I'd feed d after karate, we'd play a game pout her to bed. He'd just do his thing. Wrong.
He came in, had a grocery bag and said, "I brought orange juice because I noticed you were out. Oh and I got guacamole and salsa because I haven't eaten. Do you mind if I dig into your tortilla chips?"
He got himself a bowl, made himself a salsa, guacamole bowl with cheese from the fridge and dug in while d and I were playing Jenga. Ooookay. I put d to bed and he's in the studio doing his thing. I start to make myself dinner, tidy up a bit and I see the spoon he scooped his guacamole and salsa with sitting in the sink. No big deal, it's just a spoon but aren't we separated?!?!
He just came inside and asked me about D's day, if anything came up with her knowing about the separation and was she ok. I told him nothing has changed for her yet. It's been one day!
I think he fails to realize that she's used to him not being home. He certainly was not home for meals let alone for her bedtime most nights. He seems confused that she and I are not crumbling because of his absence.
THEN, he wanted to talk about his plans for having d over at his apartment and would take her to karate and that he got a bed set up for her. Then he said, just tell me if you don't want to talk about this. It was all stuff we'd already discussed yesterday, nothing new, so I said I just wanted to eat and fold the laundry right now. He immediately got up and said, ok, I'll text you then.
He went to the studio.
What the heck is going on?
Is this cake eating? Do I need to set boundaries or just let it play out?
If you're separated, do you just walk in, bring on and ask to eat tortilla chips? I'm confused!
