Maybell VI

[Meghan]

Maybell, I'm just catching up, but I think it's so important that you know not only your limits, but what he outcome of any crossing of those limits is likely to be. Knowing when you're looking forward will save you from having to figure it out quite so much as you go along, and you're likely to be a lot more decisive and able to take action, if need be.

In the thick of things I didn't know mine (heck, I'm still not sure that I do, but they're getting clearer), and I was so desperate to make things stable enough to work on the marriage that I let a lot of stuff slide, particularly around the fact that my H. prioritized an online friendship he'd had for a few weeks over his wife's feelings and over working on the marriage. And I handled it in all kinds of crazy ways that didn't honour who I am and what I needed because I didn't know my own limits. I don't know if different behaviour would have eld to a different outcome - I doubt it - but I'd probably be a bit happier with myself now.

If nothing else, you're going to need to know this things for if you reconcile. Things can't keep being the way that they have been, and better you should know what you need now than trying to figure it out when you're also trying to make things work again with your H.

I get the impression that you're getting a clear sense of what it is that you need and want. Keep that in mind and don't let it go. Since your situation does seem to be moving forward, knowing these things about yourself is gold and gives you a solid foundation to work from as you go.