Mr. Bond, I don’t need her permission to go to the house. I’ve just been polite. Respecting her space. It cuts down on drama.
Before my wife and I had our last fight I made it a point to only go to the house when my wife wasn’t home.
A couple of times she would come home while I was there. But when she would come home she kept the conversation friendly and did not discuss our relationship. This was fine with me. In fact this was perfect. I did not want to discuss our relationship. I still do not want to discuss our relationship.
I think it is a toxic subject.
Before I would come over I always gave my wife a heads up.
Her standard response was, “It’s your house. You can come over anytime you want.”
But after I told her I filed the separation papers she stopped responding to me. So I don’t know when she is there.
I don’t want to be there is she is there. She likes to fight and I refuse to fight with her.
The last time I was at the house she was there. And we got in a fight. This happened because she asked about the status of our relationship.
I said she didn’t understand how much she had hurt me. She got really angry. She said she was sick of living in my “house of pain.” She said I had forgiven her for name calling and I “wasn’t allowed” to keep bringing up stuff I had forgiven her for.
Then she said she thought we were separated for an entirely different reason.
I said I didn’t care what she thought. I was still hurt. She needed to realize how much she hurt me when she yelled. I wasn’t getting over it.
Then she exploded.
What the heck, right?
After listening to her yell at me for hours about how I had “dissolved her life without her permission” (her favorite phrase for the last year) she finally let me leave.
Then she sent me angry emails for days.
That was about a month ago and I haven’t seen her since. We had email exchanges for about two weeks where she blasted me and I apologized. She accused me of “harboring hurts” and “massaging grievances” and having an affair.
Then she sent an 11 page email saying she felt humiliated by the marriage and her attempts to save it. She wasn’t going to bother me anymore. I haven’t heard from her since.
So, the last thing I want to do is go to the house and see her. She is drama waiting to happen.
Based on the text yesterday (telling me someone else is taking care of the dog while she is out of town) she’s itching for a fight. I’m not going to give it to her.
I’ll wait until she gets scared. When she gets scared she calms down.
