Thanks for the note. A little background about me that you don't know. I just completed my third semester in seminary and I studied the Family Systems Theory by a Rabbi named Edwin Friedman. That has helped so much. If you are really into reading books, check his out. The title is Generation to Generation. This book will take you through your family of origin, your extended family as well as your immediate family. All of my seminary training combined with my eight years in the Army and finding the purpose for my life has helped me get to this point. You can get there to. Don't just hold on. Let go and let God take control of everything. I know its very easy to say and sometimes impossible to do, but know that God is in control.
As for me, I am soooooo happy. I just had a conversation with my W. And we talked for a long time. We talked about her vision for the sep and that she wasn't looking to divorce right now. We also talked about the leaving arrangments and when she realized that I wasn't going anywhere right now, she got uncomfortable and then she started talking about the date for the separation and I disagreed and said no. She lost it, but I didn't. I kept my cool and told her what I would and would not do and that I wasn't telling her what to do or not do, she could do whatever she wanted. I feel so free. That is the first time in my eight years of marriage that I have ever stood up to her. I am so happy right now. Take care and thanks.
Scott
Please know up front though that I am not a counselor in any way. Gen to Gen will not teach your how to change the systems that you find yourself in, it will only open your eyes to the fact that you are in a series of systems and that by changing the way you react in one system will affect all of the systems. I.E. I have stood up to my wife, now there will likely be an affect on the way I stand up to my mother or how my W reacts to her father. You won't be able to predict how the system will react, but it will help you recognize your systems.
I just had a conversation with my W. And we talked for a long time. We talked about her vision for the sep and that she wasn't looking to divorce right now. We also talked about the leaving arrangments and when she realized that I wasn't going anywhere right now, she got uncomfortable and then she started talking about the date for the separation and I disagreed and said no. She lost it, but I didn't. I kept my cool and told her what I would and would not do and that I wasn't telling her what to do or not do, she could do whatever she wanted. I feel so free. That is the first time in my eight years of marriage that I have ever stood up to her. I am so happy right now. Take care and thanks.
