Stimulus-Response: The Experiment Continues

[GoatGal]

Just a thought train that started today:

I was thinking back to previous relationships I've had over the years, how I felt about them while I was in them, and how I felt about them when they were "over".
(This is high school through college and prior to GUBU.)


Granted, these were ones that I ended, but when I did, I was very calm, decisive, willing to work through whatever needed to be done.

I wasn't angry, resentful, feeling a need to blame my partners, hurt them, or anything else. I wanted to make it simple and clean, with the least amount of pain possible.

I felt no need to lie, to hide my activities, to be sneaky or hurtful.

And there was never another person involved.
It was just me making a decision that long term, this particular R wasn't going to be right for me.

There were very significant and easily defined reasons, and that was that.
----------------------------------------

I can't imagine that I would have somehow had to blame THEM for my wanting to break up. It makes no sense.
What I did do was very calmly state what I was doing, why, wishing them well, and making it as easy on them as possible.

It was clear to me that it was MY decision, that it was THE RIGHT DECISION FOR ME, and there was not going to be anything that would change my mind.

I was done. Done. Done. And crystal clear on why, when, and how.

Contrast this with our MLC friends.

They are confused, angry at US while they're the ones behaving irrationally, picking fights with us, being weird as hell...cruel, bizarre...and worse.


I mentioned this recently in my thread.
The way our MLC spouses are behaving, you'd almost believe that WE had dumped THEM.

All the crazy stuff they're doing is like what I did one time when I got dumped by my first love.
I acted a bit wacky, tried to make him jealous, tried to find relief in the arms of someone else...

I don't know. It just seems to me like our WAW/MLC spouses are far from being "DONE" as they like to say they are.
That they are far from crystal clear on what they're doing and why.

Which is probably why they can't sit down and have an adult discussion about the real issues, why realistically it will never work between us, what their plans are for the future, how it's thought out, and how they need to do this for rational reasons.

BECAUSE IT'S ALL A BIG PILE OF MLC POO, THAT'S WHY!!!!

(Yes, I know we ALL know this but it was an interesting thought.)

Anybody else have thoughts on this?

---GGG