Ok, I was just thinking about a convo h and I had the other night and I was talking about my own realizations about myself, changes I'm making for me, how good it feels to get to know myself, etc. He said something about (gah, I wish I could remember his words) how I'd expect him to make efforts and changes before I fully changed and I was taken back by that.
A year ago when he wanted to leave I got him to stay by promising changes BUT they were conditional on his changes. He agreed but once I noticed he stopped caring I stopped trying so hard. My behavior was reactive to his and I always said "I do this because you..."
I know better now that his behavior is not a dictator of my behavior. I can choose every second of every day how I'm going to react to his behavior. I control me. No one else.
Since we are officially separated, I want to write down a few plans /180s just to commemorate them as part of my path. I'd love anyone's feedback.
1. Continue to be kind and open with him but no more R talks for a while. We're in a pattern of him venting and rewriting our history to me and I defend our history. Not good. I want to gently change the subject or JUST LISTEN.
2. Make my GAL a little more apparent to him somehow. Not sure how.
3. Be more mysterious. How?
4. Have a PMA more. I need to do stuff with friends!!
