First post, confused

[asat82]

This post should be before the long one I just posted and it is all from before the weekend.

I can tell from how she has acted that she has broken things off with OM. We had a serious conversation on Thursday and she opened up a bit, still was saying that she was scared and wanted a divorce she thinks, but 3 times or so she verbally doubted that and hinted strongly that things may be better (she sees that I am truly changing in many ways I know it)

I continued to stand up for myself during the conversation and made it clear that I was taking care of myself and would not be able to provide for her financially or emotionally if she were not my wife. When I have made these strong stands recently she gets mad at me immediately, but within 10 minutes or so she seems to draw closer and gain respect, its all so fast and Im trying to just slow it down and keep things steady. I am earning her respect, but most importantly I am growing respect for myself.

Anyway since I refused the hug last time she asked again and I accepted a hug. We had discussed that if OM was in picture that I would not be available as a friend or someone for her to count on. So she hugged me and wouldn't let go for a while, she started kissing my neck and I reciprocated a bit before hugging her tightly and saying that I should go. She didnt want to let go, but I told her I would see her with our friends over the weekend.


And as you have seen from the weekend thread, things went well. I just don;t know what to do now. I am still continuing to get a life, and am trying not to focus on the past or her. But this has reinvigorated my hope and faith that things can still turn out as a reconciled marriage.