Bustingout, your H sounds just like mine: so certain I have nothing on my mind but the desire to control him. Determined to make all of the rules. H has also claimed to be "done" and has filed for divorce.

I like what Starsky said about not letting him back in until he's ready to be fully transparent with you, about holding a higher bar (standard) and not to settle for the lower one.

M:54, H:55
T:33, M:27
12/13 BD: EA
01/14 BD: PA, H leaves
03/14 H & OW break up
05/14 H says he will file for D
08/14 H initiates D
09/14 H wants to R
12/14 Still bungling our way through R