Hi 2B and thanks for stopping by! Yes, I need to GAL a bit more. I got kinda bogged down for a bit and wasn't doing enough. Now that my D14 is back home, I feel SO much better. I am realizing just how much I hate being alone all the time!
Did something last night I probably shouldn't have done. When I heard about Robin Williams I texted my W about it. We both were fans and I know her, she hadn't heard yet as she never keeps up with current events (something I do). Well, all I wrote was he had died and that it was suicide and how sad it was. No more than 10 words. A couple hours later she texted back.."Wow. Hard to live a million miles an hour I guess". At least she acknowledged my text. My mistake was texting back that he was always pretty crazy like his idol Jonathan Winters. Got nothing, dead silence. After, I thought that, knowing her, she see's this as pursuing. Oh, well. Can't do anything about it now!
I need to talk to my D14 about the D. My W had promised that we would have something in the D about D14 being able to have some choice about where she stays as I don't like the fact that she is spending one week with her, one week with me now that school is starting. What a weird way to live your life! Now, not only does she make this official, she locks in times for pick up/ drop off, what holidays she spends with me or her and even dates for those holidays! That I have to let her know by April 1st exactly when I plan to have vacation with her in the summer! (this from a woman who said that when she gets called out of town for work when she has our D, she will just find a "friend" to watch her, get her to school and back, feed her, etc.!). I think this is wrong and the reason my W is doing this is because she "knows" that I will turn our D against her and since she is the one who left the M, I will make D14 hate her. This way D14 will be "forced" (her word) to spend time with her even if she ends up hating her! The last thing a 14 (almost 15) year old needs is to be told exactly when and where she must be at all times. What about school activities? My W moved 26 miles away and put D14 in school THERE and since I now can't afford private school and the school where W lives is a little bit better than where I live, I went along.
I want to do the right thing for my D! I want her life to be the best it can be especially this first year. I really think it's a mistake for her to be stuck in a rigid schedule like this. The only way to stop it is have my D14 tell the court that she wants to live with me as primary custodian. I will never stop her from seeing her mother (although I can see her mom not letting her see me) and if she wanted to stay with her mother longer for some reason I would be fine. I also worry about my W's ability to take care of her down the road. If she becomes depressed as badly as in past, there is no way I want my D living with her. I just dread talking to my D about this. I hate to make her feel like she must choose between me and her mother. I feel I must just tell her that because of the way her mom has set things up, she will have little choice where she spends her time and I want her to have that freedom. To do that I would need to be primary and for that to happen she will need to support this in court. That's really the truth and is non judgmental.
