So I had a talk with my W last night. She was tired, but was in a good mood. I sat her down and opened up like this (not verbatim):
"I thought a lot about what happened over the weekend and the conversations that took place. I've had a couple of days to really digest and reflect. First and foremost, I want to apologize for divulging intimate family matters with another woman. I also want to apologize for doing so behind your back.
Next, I want to apologize for getting angry at you snooping through my phone. I have no right to demand such privacy after my repeated breaches of trust over the years."
She replied, "Why the change of heart"?
I said, "I came to the realization that I have a lot of work to do in addressing my past betrayals. Until I can address that, I have no business trying to address what's currently going on. I have no business demanding ANYTHING from you at this point."
I continued, "Despite the fact that you may not care, it is important to me to rebuild at least a little bit of trust back from you. I think the first step to doing that is giving you full access to my phone. I have changed the password on it (I told her the password -- something she can easily remember). I am not asking you to check my phone. I am simply providing you transparency and accessibility. You can feel free to ask me anytime, even if you see me on it. Just say 'can I see your phone' and I will hand it over no questions asked. I'd like to start taking baby steps to earn back some of your trust, but I will leave it up to you to do so. Ok?"
She simply nodded and said, "Ok." (with a little grin/smile)
While I was talking to her, I saw her eyes swell up a little, but she did not cry.
We then segwayed into a conversation about our day and about the kids. It was short and friendly. We then said good night and she left to go sleep on the couch.
M: 15 years BD: 6/25/14 EA/PA: starts 5/14/14 11/30/14 - A ends 5/15/15 - D is finalized. 11/28/15 - Start of new LTR with a wonderful woman (and still going strong)!
