Excellent- I fully understand what you mean now Starsky - thank you. I suppose that requires me to let go of that urge to try and control --- yes I see this more clearly now. Thank you again SO much ((( Starsky)))

Heather, Matt- thank you for your validation and point of views. It really helps when others 'see' what I see. Especially that very few IRL cannot fathom why I doing what I am doing.

Bright- I needed that reminder to relax and be myself. I need that reminder. I feel hypersensitive to this sometimes trying to navigate. I need to relax more and be myself. And trust in God. And be confident. Thank you bright. You know sometimes when the stinkin Thinkin starts in I think what could he possibly like about me after rejecting me so completely? Those thoughts don't allow me to be myself completely.

TPS
Me: 44 H: 42
M14 T17
S10 D7
10/10 H moves out after death of his father-same month
21/04/12 H is 'DONE'
04/05/12 OW/PA confirmed (rumors from 2010)
July '14 H ends affair
May '15 H moves back home