Elsa and Lisa, I needed to hear your supportive and kind words so badly today. Thank you!! I see others (including you two) making solid strides and can't wait to encourage and celebrate their successes but I have trouble seeing my own. Thanks for pointing them out to me because I really struggle to see them.
I'm so grateful for the help I've received and hope to continue to receive through this process. It's a strange comfort to know others are in a similar situations as I am, even though I wish none of us were here.
I am working on attracting what I want and need right now and asking the universe to care for me during this time. It's crazy the things I'm seeing, hearing and paying attention to now that I'm officially on the "separated" path.
Went to yoga today and out of no where our typically quiet teacher read a quote, "pain is inevitable, suffering is optional". I really needed to hear that. Then I was running errands and knocked over a book at a store, it fell open to a chapter on loss and that same quote was at the very top. It also advised to get rest, take care of myself and to grieve but to relish in my new chapter that I alone get to write. It spoke of becoming the person you've always wanted to be and how there is always pain during that process. I just felt it was the universe looking out for me. As hard as all of this is and all the pain I feel just by inhaling sometimes, I have a choice not to suffer.
We told d today and she took it better than expected. She was upset but no tears. She was interested that daddy now has a different place to live and asked about divorce. I took 25's advice and told her all the things that would stay the same... Which is almost everything. She expressed that she was angry and stood tapping her foot with her arms crossed saying we should work this stuff out because she wants us together. Today in her bath she made a "potion". A love potion so h and I would get back together. It broke my heart a little but hey, maybe it'll work.
