What to do when an EA involved?

[Hoju]

Thanks for your reply sandi, i fear i've really messed things up now though. She came to me tonight to discuss the next steps for separation and i did everything wrong. I tried to convince her to stay and discussed the marriage and many of our problems. Ugh i'm such an idiot my mind kept telling me to just walk away but my mouth wouldn't stop talking.

She hadn't been drinking while we were trying to get pregnant, she is by no means an alcholic or anything just enjoys having a good time with friends. We didn't seek counseling after the failed ivf, perhaps we should have i thought our relationship was strong enough to get through it.