Hi LN, We are in a similar place right now, LN. I'm the same age as you, M the same # of years as well. My W started the D process after agreeing the week before to go to mediation and NOT get L's. Then she filed a week after saying she WASN'T going to file. Than 2 weeks ago, she got angry because I asked to keep a clock we bought together and filed a "Final" Decree that pretty much goes against everything we spoke about doing. Now I have to speak to my D14 because my W wants to "make" her split her time 50/50, has mapped out what holidays she spends with who, what time she must be where, all things that I told her I didn't want decided by the court. I wanted my D14 to have a say where she stays what she does, etc. But because she is so afraid that my D will hate her because she was the one to leave, she wants to be able to "force" her to do what SHE wants!
There is no use stalling. I tried that but all it took was one incident that wasn't even my fault and she pushed things. I still don't believe in D and think that it's a huge mistake but I can't stop her. I always thought that both parties had to agree for a "no fault" D but that isn't the case. All it takes is her saying she doesn't want to be married and even though there are no "grounds" I can't stop her or even slow her down! The world has become a place that just doesn't value M. I didn't know how I was going to do it and I pretty much have to take it day by day. There is no stopping them LN. He is bound and determined to destroy the M. My W is trying to erase that the last 26 years we were together never happened!
Get a L. You may be better off with one even if you go to mediator as they can give you advice. My W had her dad pay for one and then told me that I didn't need one as hers would just do everything! Yeah, right! Be careful and protect yourself. I know it's hard but try and see this a business transaction at this point. If you don't he will take advantage of you in the state he's in. He may come out of it someday and be sorry but you will still be screwed now if you're not careful.
