Living with WAW who will not leave

[Casey]

From my vantage point there are several issues that are interfering with a positive change in the situation.

1. Affair needs to end, but because W ends it of her own accord. I can do all the GAL activities I want but at the end of the day W has no respect for me because I am being used as a doormat and her plan C or D if affairs do not work out. I am not making her leave because of the affair because I would have to first expose it. I am sick of snooping. She already knows this is a boundary for me; especially after 2nd affair where I wound up with an STD. That being said, there is little I can do to compel her to leave once I reveal that I know of her new affair.

2. We are far beyond making changes so W doesn't WAW. She has already told me it is over but she will not leave. Right now I am her mechanic, her daycare provider, her housekeeper, cook, her bill-paying sugar daddy, and her fallback option if she cannot find an affair partner. There needs to be a sense of losing something important and valuable for her to appreciate what her actions have cost her. Of course she might be gone for good but I am calling her bluff and calculating that she does not have the resources to fight an expensive custody battle, or even live long on her own before fiscal reality forces her to reexamine her choices. In the meantime, I will work on improving myself, GAL, and going dark to protect myself from being hurt further. Someday there might be a possible reconciliation should she decide to work on herself but I need to act like there will not be one for the actions to be taken seriously, and I need to actually believe it myself in order to properly detach.