Ready for some forum help

[NewB3]

So, our family weekend trip is over. We both felt it went as good as it could. We did have issues with S3.5 and S10 being out of control. This forced us to tag team parent and help each other out a lot. A few times this weekend she was extra attentive.
Tonight we sat down for our talk prior to our next C meeting. It turned into a buffet of topics and we spent the full 45 minutes honestly talking about feelings, communication issues, and where she was in the feelings/emotional process. Essentially, I told her this. She is at the finish line (D) waiting for me to catch up. She agreed. This IS NOT easy. She did tear up a few times. I did too. This was a fantastic 45 minutes, however, the darkness has crept in. She has not connection with me at this point. Somewhere along the way that left and she made up her mind to be divorced. Simple as that, no other reasons.
My issue here is what to do now. We agreed to go to one more therapy session tomorrow. She feels that I have tried to drag this out, but after talking to me knows that I was being genuine and doing all I could to save my family. I have no regrets other than not going with her to therapy last year. Maybe we would have ended up here or maybe we could have kept the flame alive through good communication.
We live together, settlement will be worked out. I am allowing her to walk at this point. I SOOoooo want to go dark, but have to much respect for her while living here. Need the vet's to chime in quickly. I feel my next few weeks are critical. I will remain making her feel she is a fool for leaving. I will continue the "as if", until I leave. I feel doing the 180's is a way of life now. Keeping that going.

HELP