You know, I loved my husband deeply for 26 years. It took some time after the split to recognize some of the things I had ignored or glossed over.
He wasn't all bad. We had real love for large parts of our marriage. Most days I see him now not as a jerk, but as a much more limited human being than I thought he was.
His depression, mild undiagnosed bipolar, and inherent sekfishness have all come into clearer focus in the years since he left. He seems to have gotten worse over the years, but the red flags were thete even when we were dating.
One of the biggest challenges will be to figure out why you picked him, why you ignored the red flags......so that you don't keep picking the same kind of guy in the future.
And yes, even though this is not about you, it's a priceless opportunity to look at yourself, shake off your complacency, and challenge yourself to live a bigger, better life. (Also, a good time to watch She Devil with Roseanne Barr )
You can't save your H from his fate. You've tried, you've done more than most people would to save your marriage. You'll have peace of mind because of that. His journey is in his hands now. And your life can become whatever you want to make of it. What would you do if you knew you couldn't fail? Dream big!
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