Not new here - but newly separated

[abbey1989]

Hi, I am newly separated as of 8/1. H walked in on Friday afternoon, said he couldn't do "this"...."us"....anymore. Just before our 25 year wedding anniversary and my 50th bday at end of month.

I am devastated. He had attempted to do this back in October but moved back in by that same Sunday. This time he just said that he is tired of hurting me, seeing the hurt in my eyes. I said "you are my partner in life" and he said that he hasn't been much of a partner, much less a friend. He said that he wasn't sure why, but he just stopped trying. I don't know if there is any hope, or if at this point it is useless. Very little sex since last November (maybe 3 times). Sounds awful, but he has just not had any interest.

I think he really has been thinking/planning this for awhile. I had been trying to plan a little trip for our anniversary, but he would never give me an answer, only that he'll know his schedule better in a couple of weeks. And if I brought up a trip around friends, he would change the subject. What an idiot I am. Don't know where he is living, he said someplace temporary. He has assured me that financially, he will (and has) continued to support. House payment and he transferred funds to me today for bills. I don't really see him not coming through on that. UGH this is horrible.

He said no OW involved, but I know at the very least there was an EA but most likely PA. He always denied. I feel so alone. S23 still lives in home but works long hours and D20 lives about 7 hrs away. I went to see her the day after and spent the week with her. This is my first day home alone (I work remotely from home).

Oh gosh how do people get thru this? I have an appt to see a therapist and my doctor to get some meds. Hope they help. Doing the usual trying to keep active and taking care of myself nutritionally. Any tips?

He has texted numerous times that he misses me. I believe that he is experiencing a huge sense of loss too. I think we just grew apart. We spoke today. Only 2nd time since 8/1. So sad. It is not like we ever fight, we don't, which is what makes this so hard. Thanks for listening.....