Thanks to both of you! I have used to my advantage my law degree, his guilt, and his desire to be with his OW at some point to get the most cash out of this as possible.
I consulted with the very best of the best divorce attorney to see what my best and worst case scenario would be in court. I then used that knowledge to get him to agree to a settlement that was heavily in my favor and to agree to having one attorney represent both of us. That means that the attorney can't really represent either of us. The attorney will be a filer/paper pusher.
The OW just started the divorce proceedings in TX with her BH. He has all the proof of her affair(s) over the years. They have two small children, and he won't let her move them to TN without a big fight. He has a ton more money than her, so I don't see that affair making it the distance.
Luckily, I will have enough cash to put 20% down on an affordable house! pay off any debt I have! and have money left for moving expenses/little bits of furniture (I get the bulk of the furniture!). That is all coming from his liquidated IRA. Yup. He is desperate for this to be over.
I am heartbroken over the loss of my best friend. I am sick over not having my kids at home everyday. I just have to live with that, though. I've got to move forward.
Thanks for the reality. I will still update here as I go through the crappy emotions and dealing with the jerk.
