H's MLC #3

[2BHappy]

Yeah,,,maybe
I was trying to figure out what I was feeling for last couple of days,..what was changing..

H seems to be moving more toward me then away...and now Im more like "whatever" I dont care,,it scares me becuase this is what I kinda felt when I WAS, the things he accused me of when BD.

I dont care, H will have to change for me to remain in this marriage, if he does not I dont care.

Im making plans for my son and I future, making sure I can cover our expenses, this even helped me change how I interact with my son, I was nervous about if I could really "handle" my son if my H was not in the house, so I stepped up and became more direct with my son, more like "I said do " not your dad and I said,,,I have stopped some of the debates with my son, give him directions and expect him to follow without me saying "dont make me tell your dad" and I realize that when my son sees Im serious and confident he listens more (well as much as a 14 yearold listens) just trying to say I know I can raise my son with or withour his dad in our home. My H will always be in his life and presnt and there to help raise, but at the start I had a lil concerned about my H not being here in the house.

Now I know, Im strong enough for my son and I.

This gift of time H gave me, may in the end not be the best gift for him... I know I want him, but I dont need him...and if H does not show more changes sooner vs later,,,I will not even want him.