Hi GG, When my W was still at home I noticed that she hated when I would GAL. She even told me that one of the "reasons" she had to end the M was because I didn't do enough "on my own" and I should go out without her more often. So, when I did that she would get upset by it! Wonka said this is because when the MLC is miserable, they want you to be as well. To them it's just not "fair" that you have fun when you are causing them so much pain. Even after her leaving, if I brought up something I did that was "fun" she felt the need to say "When I get settled in my new place, I'm going to do fun things too!" (nanny, nanny, boo-boo!). Just yesterday when I picked up my D14 I was smiling and upbeat and she seemed upset at this and hurried the process up almost running back to her car to get away. (I know she wasn't in a hurry because she was upset that Sam's had closed before she got there and wanted to shop!).
I know my W is still depressed and I know how she hated it when people around her were happy when she was at her worst. One of the reasons I stopped doing things "on my own" was because I felt bad leaving her miserable at home! Like Raine says it doesn't make sense the way they feel, how even though they were the ones to leave, they feel rejected by us. The whole GAL, detaching, 180 thing is such a balancing act. Not enough is bad, too much is bad.
Keep experimenting GG. Only you really know what is right and what works against you.
