Wife dropped the bomb; doing in house separation

[HopeTex]

You guys are all great and I appreciate your insight and support.

25years:
I am reading Codependent No More. Ouch, see a lot of myself in that. That is why detachment has been so painful for me. It really amazes me as I realize how emotionally fused I am to the W. For the past couple years I really decided I could not possibly be happy if she was not happy with me. At least I have woken up to that fact; now is just the slow steady deatchment from her and rebuilding of my own identity, self-validation, etc.

Also listening to some Mindfulness podcasts, really like the focus on the present moment and finding inner peace.

GALs:
About to pull the trigger on some scuba lessons. Hope to follow that up with a solo trip somewhere to actually dive.
Wife schedule a vacation on her own with the kids to visit relatives in Denver next week. I scheduled a trip for me and the kids to a fun waterpark resort once they get back.
Going out with friends more.
Always wanted to learn to dance (two-step), will get lessons soon.

180's:
It feels like it is taking all of my energy and willpower just to detach. And I am doing pretty well at that.
Also trying to be a positive and upbeat person, especially around W and kids. I have a lifelong endency to get sullen, moody, negative, obsessed, etc.

I am TOTALLY with you on experiential weekends, trainings, etc. I have done Wild at Heart and also a bunch of stuff with a group out of California called Reinvent Ministries. http://reinventministries.org/ It has really changed my life over the past few years. I will look for another one to attend soon.