When I met my W to pick her up she hardly looked at me and was in a big hurry. Nearly ran back into her car when I put my D's stuff in.
It's been years Matt, and my ex still can't look me in the eye on the occasion that we run into each other. She can't speak rationally, and can't really have anything to do with me in a positive manner. Years Matt. I'm sure the people she is around don't help that as I've noticed they seem threatened by her talking to me.
I've noticed through the years that exW comes up with drama or some way to "blame" me. It's worn thin, even for her.
But as you may have noticed from your W's statements, she is trying to fix herself. The docs didn't help. So she is trying to self-medicate and fix herself. This is a journey for her and although she doesn't like it (regardless of what she says) she needs very badly to fix herself.
Those on the outside can see that won't work. We see the fallout of her choices. But, frustrating as it is, we didn't break them and we can't fix them. They seem to think they can fix themselves, but that's not likely either Matt.
Try not to judge based on "normalcy" and instead see it for what it is. A desperate woman trying to fix herself and going about it in the most destructive possible way from your perspective. But like any sick person, wish her good health and the best of luck. Regardless of what she says or does.
When the current efforts don't work to ease the pain she feels, she'll try more attacks. It's like they feed off the attacks in some cases. When they see it isn't giving them the "hit" they want, they look for something else. Eventually, they realize they can't get anything from you and look elsewhere. They are compelled to do so.
In some cases, they "wake up" and see the destruction they caused. In some, they never do wake up to it and instead live in that fantasy land they constructed.
But it's classic to blame you (not you per se, but blame AT you) by trying to go back to a time that they didn't feel the pain. They go back to the happy times in their heads. Childhood, before they met you (they re-remember their pasts to make you the bad guy), when they married, had kids, etc.
This isn't about you, Matt. This is something broken in her and she is trying to fix it. Step far back and don't get caught in the flak, Matt. At some point she may feel sad about the loss of the marriage. That may come across as weird and she may try to contact. Even be friendly. Be wary.
It's sad, but it's not about you Matt. She's the broken one and while you are willing to help, she needs to do this on her own.
AJ
"Our lives begin to end the day we become silent about things that matter" MLK Put the glass down... "Yesterday I was clever so I wanted to change the world Today I am wise, so I am changing myself."
