2.5 Months After D-day...and I wait

[DBinSF]

I'm beginning to understand where these issues come from. Everyone in my family is addicted to something. Food, booze, work, kids, etc. I'm addicted to attention and affirmation. Literally. I have extremely low self esteem (illogically so given I'm a smart guy with a lot going for him), and I get caught up in fantasies a and most recently affairs. I over value sex in relationships and under value integrity and commitment. When the M word (marriage) comes up, I literally panic.

I'm working through this systematically. I'm proud that these last three months are the LONGEST period of "no coping behaviors" in 20 years. So, while it might not seem like I'm making any progress, this whole thing has been pretty amazing.