Maybell VI

[labug]

I love AlAnon, it gave me such insight into enabling and codependency and great slogans to implant those things in my brain.

One of my faves, "Don't go to the hardware store or bread." Meaning, you're parents aren't going to give you the support you crave right now, so don't go there with them, don't expect it. It would seem your M hasn't let go of you, she doesn't see you as a married woman, mother of children, capable of living her life. It's easy to get stuck there. I have to work on it with my adult children.

They love you but they are who they are. Boundaries, my friend, boundaries.

I appreciate how you're turning things around the deeply ingrained tendencies you're noticing.

Does it matter if he wants you to go? The story that he wouldn't have asked unless he wanted you to come is as easy to believe as the story that if he asked that way it means he doesn't really want me.

This is where OUR rules and the stories based on those rules trip us up. Interpreting everything people do is exhausting and often counter-productive. Try taking things at face value for awhile and see if what changes. Hold up on the deconstructing and interpreting, cause you're doing that based on what's in your head, not what's in his.

Would that be a 180?

Go if you want.