Saving my marriage by focusing on ME (Part 2)

[Oxford1]

"it was all good stuff UNTIL YOU brought up "the hold of the OM".

Do you mean the hold HE has on YOU? OR what? I"m lost b/c you say all these signs of progress and you and your w are getting along but you keep on going back to OM.

why? B/C your w is not ready to be intimate with you?

That MAY HAVE NOTHING to do with him.I realize this, but maybe you can help me understand what this is about

Do you get that? He was never the "Cause" of your problems, so even his absence won't fix things.I am 180 degrees different then I was at the start of our issues. I don't get angry anymore. I have learned how to calm her down when she gets angry.

I don't let things out of my control upset or make me nervous (except for the marital crises


That part is up to YOU and your w. How are your GAL and 180s going?

My 180's are going great. I really am showing Myselfthe man I can be.

The GAL is as good as I could get it until now. I mean I go to the Gym without her during the week. I am not however able to do a lot of things completely away from her. We have been busy with moving my S21 and his Fiancee home and setting up his apartment etc..I was supposed to spend a couple of days on a boat fishing with a bud, but we had to delay that because of his kids.


What are they now?

My big 180 now has been to not talk about the future, to not pursue her.

One big one I have to focus on is not getting into conversations about whats she did unless she starts them. For some reason my w believes if a husband asks anything about what his wife did, its for one reason only "Control"

So I really have to let her start those conversations.

Another 180 is to try and spend less time thinking about my sitch.


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