barely holding on - 2

[u-turn]

Oh it hurt. She has said this before. It doesn't even tell me that it's over, just that they will never be a permanent item.
The EA thing is going to be a huge issue that I can't do anything about - and she will have a nearly impossible time with too.

The trust thing. I'm asked to dig deep and figure out what problems I brought to the marriage. In doing so, now I have the fact that I have not been trustworthy (looked at phone, e-mail etc). That is something that will need to be forgiven (by myself and her) for us to move on. I do not bring this up to her - I try not to beat myself up over my mistakes any more (a problem that I have had in the past) and I am trying to improve.

I know she should be the one that is trying harder - but she's not and that concerns me.

She was actually content about the fact that I said that I didn't need her. I think it released some pressure.