Well, here it comes…..my little vent and gripe moment. I have been dark now for some time (close to 6 months), only catching a smallest of hint that the ex was even thinking about me, or looking over the fence as it is. The big summer camping trip came and went like it always does….and of course it was always a July event that made the summer….and I could only think of what my step-son and nephew told me last summer before I got the no more contact thrown at me, but it was really gratifying to know that I was missed, and that camping just wasn’t the same without me….Now, I’m just not sure about anything anymore. I cannot believe that she hasn’t thought about me and missed me in some way….mostly because I still miss them every day…and it angers me inside that I still care so damn much! I understand that this time apart is not about a marriage, it’s about growth…and keeping hope alive in my heart. But w/o anything visible it’s so freaking hard to think that I have a chance at ever getting a second chance School is getting closer to starting, the kids are going to both be at the HS this year, and D is going to be a senior….just so much I have to miss and nothing can be done about it….until the ex decides or the kids get old enough to make their own choices
M 52 W 40 D 15 (step) S 12 (step) Married 7, together almost 8 Separated 1 year before bomb from her "I love you, I'm just..." BD final 8/22/12
