lost and desperate

[LisaB]

Hi Ss06, seems like a good sign to me. He sounds a lot like my previous ex. He wants to be "free" but he is not sure he wants to be free forever. So he still is doing these little things to hold on, while planning to walk out "tomorrow".

My advice is to do your very best to let him go, open the cage and let him be free! Only then will he be able to feel if he wants to return and make the changes he needs to make to have a relationship with you. And take that time for yourself to really think about what kind of M you want! All that stuff you described above is pretty disturbing to me, maybe just because I lived through some of the same stuff and it was really difficult.

How to let him go when it will simply devastate you to do so? Act as if you are ok with it (at least around him, you can be a wreck when you are alone). Tell him you understand this is how it has to be. Don't contact him. Don't show weakness if you can help it. Act like you are fine and are moving on. This is easier said than done of course.

I wish you good luck and strength and I'll be watching your story!
Hugs, Lisa B