barely holding on - 2

[u-turn]

Agree with this and agree that I can only change myself.
This is very difficult as everyone says.

After a little GAL for me this morning, when I got back and sat down W sat across and started

W. you will never trust me
M. blank stare then, I hope to trust you again
W. I told you that you would never get over this
M. blank stare
W. What do you want with us
m. I don't think we should talk about us until we address ourselves
W. You will never get over this
m. I have told you that I feel that I can move past what has happened but cannot begin to work on us until it is over
W. There is no (OM) he will never leave his family
m. That doesn't change the situation, only the permanence of it
W. I deal with this every day
m. It must be very hard
W. you keep bringing this back to the square one (she walks away)

Well - I don't think that went very well. I remained calm as usual, she said there was no A - (I don't think this is the case, I don't believe what she is saying, but it doesn't matter what I think, I cannot control that.)

I do need to stop trying to talk. I heard it from you and her today.

Re-building trust is going to be very hard, but I guess that is too far ahead to worry about either.

Back to loving at a distance.

By the way - she was very annoyed by the fact that I was not engaging in conversation very much lately - she noticed and did not like it. But she just took it as I no longer want to talk to her. I don't think I was doing it correctly.

Much work and improvement is needed

Thanks Sandi!