And it is interesting what you said about MEN vs. Boys. I think it makes sense now. On one side H wanted an independent woman who could take care of herself and not rely on him much (and I was that woman, except for the emotions.) On the other side, I was told by our mutual friends that H was intimidated by me. Well, I was making a lot much money for a while. I think H lost his confidence, or he always had it low, just was masking it so well by emphasizing his masculinity. I remember that he was not comfortable when I asked him to hold my purse when I needed to go to the restroom or something. I saw my friend doing it for his wife with no problems. I also saw other guys doing it for their wifes or women. It always puzzled me why H was so sensitive about this. I think now I understand.
This is very interesting, Bright! My h had what I called a representative. He came across as very strong, secure, confident, etc. He would always comment that people thought he grew up with a silver spoon or came from some great family. I think he thought that was part of his *power* because he could present himself this way. He was told growing up that he really was worthless. He was in a large family and was told that he was the one who was going nowhere and would be like his uncle (who was trash and in and out of jail- on the run from the cops- drugs, you get the pic...). Anyway, h was so proud that he was the most successful out of them all, and I think in part to prove his worth and them wrong.
So.... to make a short story long..... Your above quote resonated with me. Although my h came across as very confident, I could always tell he was insecure. He would never show or admit that.... ever! He would have never held my purse either! He always had to present himself a certain way- especially in public.
And, a funny thing about that- total MLC moment from this man. A couple months ago, he stopped by the house. He was wearing a pink dress shirt. Like... really pink. He NEVER IN A MILLION YEARS would have done that. If I had even suggested something in that realm, he would have said,"HE/L No!" and would have cut me off at the knees for even suggesting it. I was totally stunned when he walked in with on! I was sitting at the table doing work, and I did one of those head jerks, where it went back, and bugged my eyes. I didn't mean to, but I kind of laughed too. He made a face, and looked a little embarrassed. I didn't say a word- he knew exactly what I was looking at! I was SHOCKED! It's not even that I didn't like it, it was just not his style- at all. Then my son came out and made a comment about it, because even he noticed how weird and unlike him it was. S teased him, because h would always want s to look a certain way- just like him!
Hmmm.... sorry, Bright. I didn't mean to take up your thread with that. Just sometime we have those moments when someone else make you think, you know?
