FY, thank you for declaring me “officially hot”. It made me smile, and also reading all these responses. I don’t consider myself hot though. I hear it from people and it always surprises me. I’m not a model looking. I consider myself an average in terms of looks and shape. Yes, I do look younger than my years, I do look in shape (even though I have a few extra pounds I’m trying to lose) and I do have a pretty face. I know some guys (and actually women) I met in the past were making comments about how lucky my H was. I also know these comments started to irritate H about 2-3 years pre DB.
Originally Posted By: Matt165
Sounds to me like any man would be lucky to have you a part of his life, your H is just too blinded by his own problems to see that!
Matt, this is what I hear quite often. But let me say something here. People in the outside world only saw a nice girl with lots of good qualities, confident and independent, open and not judgmental, etc. It was H who this girl allowed to show the true colors with. And sometimes they were not pretty. I know my issues now. I was looking to H to fix my childhood issues of not having much attention from my Father. I was behaving like a little angry girl sometimes. So, I can totally understand H not wanting this, especially when he started to deal with his own issues.
And it is interesting what you said about MEN vs. Boys. I think it makes sense now. On one side H wanted an independent woman who could take care of herself and not rely on him much (and I was that woman, except for the emotions.) On the other side, I was told by our mutual friends that H was intimidated by me. Well, I was making a lot much money for a while. I think H lost his confidence, or he always had it low, just was masking it so well by emphasizing his masculinity. I remember that he was not comfortable when I asked him to hold my purse when I needed to go to the restroom or something. I saw my friend doing it for his wife with no problems. I also saw other guys doing it for their wifes or women. It always puzzled me why H was so sensitive about this. I think now I understand.
Bea, you are into something here. I need to think more about what you said. My H is not a mean MLCer. Actually he is not only “nice”, he is very nice, especially lately. I think I’m at the point that if I initiate the contact and I get no response, it would not bother me too much. I’m not even sure what I will make out of a response or no response. You are so right about the hope dwindling away.
I’m doing much better recently. I almost lost this persistent feeling in my stomach. I feel that I’m getting more distant from H, like moving away. This scares me. I am the person who normally goes all the way while there is still hope. I don’t give up that easily. I think that I’m afraid to completely drop the rope because I know that once I do that there will be no way going back. I will not reopen my heart to H even if he decides to come back.
So, now back to action.
Job, I thought the same, to reply to H’s e-mail thanking him. Should I send him a thank you e-mail and also tell him that I fixed the contacts on the account, so he should not be getting e-mails for me anymore? Which is the truth. Or, would it sound like I’m trying to get rid of every mention of him? Which is partially true too, at least at the moment.
Any advice on this? Or, am I over thinking this again?
M:50 H:52 S28 (my S from previous marriage) M:17 + 3 BD: 06/12 S: 06/12 - H works in another state
