Maybell VI

[Mat]

Your posts are definitely food for thought. Now I understand better what my coach was saying when she was checking with me that I was OK with continuing to engage while W is seeing someone else, and advising against accepting another invite.

I don't know what it is that makes me accept the humiliation. It's as if I'm so convinced that she's crazy that I figure I'm better off. But that condescension is no basis for rebuilding anything.

That's why I think you are right to stick with your high standards when it comes with the relationship that you want with him, going forward. It's not just a measure of how you value yourself, but also the way you value him and insist on seeing him as the most important man and friend in your life. As others have said there are tons of indications that he's doing a lot of work. A lot more than with my W for instance, yet I know she's been processing regardless of where we end up. The fact that you made clear what expectations you had for you two will have had a maturing effect on him. I'm sure it's helping. I'm glad you're starting to feel better about your decision.