Possible MLC WAH, and need guidance

[Atsbaby]

I posted yesterday and apparently it didn't go through

Oh well, so group was just me and the counselor, which was fine. We talked for almost 2 hours about her sitch and mine. She was able to reconcile, hopefully I can too. More women are usually there in September, so I'll go back and give it more time.

H made a comment about how long it took and I just replied with a yep. I then realized I didn't have ink for my printer so ran back to the store. H seemed a little aggravated when I returned....sorry, if you were here more I wouldn't have to run out at 9:30!

Last night I had to go get uniforms for the kids and H actually went. He was so tense, rode with his arms crossed for at least 20 minutes. Was texting and not really helping, very short with the kids. I think they were hyper because all of us were out together...been a long time for that. I stayed upbeat and never got angry with the kids, which is another 180.

Saw a glimpse of H when we ran to the sports store, he was animated about a golf shirt he was looking for and just showed his true self, it was nice to see. Very closed for the remainder of the night. Kids left to spend the night with friends after we got home. H went to the basement looking for who knows what and I took the opportunity to go walking.

I returned with the dog and H was still home, which surprised me. He made small talk for 5 minutes and then left. About an hour later he texted me about his dad, I validated and then we went back and forth for 2 hours. It started with hw that neither of us was wanting to do and then he turned it sexual. During the convo he admitted telling his lawyer that we started being intimate again and she flipped

I'm actually surprised he told her, but he said he didn't trust me for keeping it a secret...and who needs to be having the trust issues? The convo also turned to him trying to be discreet about wanting it again.

H woke me up at 3:30am and well....I'm so not good. This was all for him, which I get it, I understand the male needs. H started being rough and I pulled a way saying it hurts and he said "oh, baby, what hurts?"

We finished and when he left he tucked me in and patted my side. I just cried. I think i still would have been detached had he not used that endearment in a soft gentle voice.

This stupid ride needs to end and he needs to let me off. I thought I was doing good, but darn for being female and all emotionally! We still haven't "talked." What's the point, can't do anything legally right now. I did contact a lawyer and waiting to set up a consultation.

Back to dbing today. Plus I get to see inlaws, maybe I can gage what they are seeing without revealing my thoughts.