Living with WAW who will not leave

[Casey]

Hello,

I am living with my WAW who I have been married to for almost 10 yrs and with whom I have a 7yr old son. They moved to North Dakota from CA in Dec 2012 and our problems started around Jul 2013 when W went back to work at a local factory where I was working night shift. W worked days; 1st affair started shortly after she started working; BD happened in Sept. W asked for separation, didn't tell me why; a little snooping uncovered hundreds of deleted TMs and I accidently caught her in unexplained absence from work. After confrontation, that affair ended but 2nd started soon after and continued for months and became PA at some point; this was confirmed when I discovered I had an STD... Confronted W with proof and she ended A; apparently OM#2 had been cheating on her too (imagine that!). That was around Feb this yr. Since then we have almost completely ended physical contact; I have little desire at this point to be with someone who has had multiple affairs. I suspect a 3rd OM but I have grown apathetic about trying to get proof of what I strongly suspect.

I would have left long ago yet we have a son and I feel that for his sake I need to make every effort to save what was at one point a happy marriage. When I ask myself honestly whether I still love my wife I do not right now. I feel like someone else is living in her body and the woman I love has gone on vacation. We talk and interact normally when we are together, which is rarely, and I have stopped trying to do R talks or talks about future, etc. I made a lot of mistakes in dealing with things up to this point; recently I have started just treating her like a roommate, which is what we are to one another anyway, and trying to be upbeat and avoid showing how this is affecting me. W has told me she wants to live apart; says that would be best for us but she doesn't have money to do so. We share a bed but our work schedules mean we almost never are in it at the same time, our in our apartment at the same time.

A primary complaint from W is that I don't love son and don't interact with him; one of my 180 actions is to start putting more effort into my R with S. W has always focused most of her energy on S to the detriment of us and it has made me resentful and also tended to make me the disciplinarian because she spoiled him. Right now I am uncertain what I should be doing; my W as she is right now is not interested in M and is working on getting out. I realize need to fix myself regardless of what happens next; I want marriage to work out but have hard time seeing path from here to there.