1st post. Long but please read, help!

[MrBond]

What a change from your 2nd post where you said...

"One was after a long string of no sex and rejected attempts to initiate. I was really resentful about it, and somehow we had a conversation in which she had asked me 'what's wrong'. That infuriated me. I marched over to the calendar on the wall and circled a date that occurred like 3 weeks ago and said something like "This is the last day we had any type of physical connection. That just doesn't work for me. And what's really bothersome is that you have to ask. I've told you this is important to me in every way I know how, but somehow you just don't get it. Either you can't understand this one concept or you just don't care about me." I probably went on to say that if I was ever in a bad mood again just ask herself if we've been intimate in the last week and if the answer was 'no' don't bother asking. To this day she says she remembers the rage in my eyes when I circled the calendar and says that something inside of her broke at that time.

Beyond that, there were instances in which I pressured her to having sex, and doing things she wasn't comfortable with. I knew I was pressuring her, but somehow thought it was ok because I was only getting what was reasonable. I felt like we loved each other, if she loved me she should give me what I wanted.

I also used pornography during our entire relationship and was upset she wouldn't join in. I never hid it, but felt like she was being unreasonable and prudish that she wouldn't participate and use it as a chance to get closer to me (sharing fantasies, etc).

So while I never hit her or did anything physically, there is no question I was guilty of some terrible things.

I still battle with some of these things. "

I guess the demanding sex and pornography had nothing to do with it. She is really an evil woman to deny you those basic things.