2.5 Months After D-day...and I wait

[DBinSF]

haha... it's ok, 25. I've come to expect Tough Love on here at this point.

So, to answer your questions:

>>Can you tell us 3 things you'd do differently WITH/FOR her?

1) I've committed to complete transparency. I've removed people from my life who live with moral ambiguity or are womanizers

2) I would commit to a monogamous, married relationship. I wasn't able to do that before.

3) I would give her complete/total access to my phone, computer, Facebook, email, etc.

4) I would quit my MBA program if she wanted. (She's concerned about the debt)

5) I would commit to a 6-12 month horizon for starting a family.


>>And now, please tell us 2-3 things you'd be doing in your life that's different,[OTHER than things related to Her?

1) I am turning down parties and expensive events (I.e. NOT going to Burning Man this year, which is a crazy party festival in the desert). In the past, I would have to be at every party. I had a fear of missing out. Now, I am focused on growth, and being more responsible with money.

2) I've started a men's group. We meet twice a month and support each other with integrity.

3) I attend therapy twice a week to work through these issues.

4) I'm investing in an MBA at Wharton

5) I am looking at new jobs to get some financial stability.

6) I am doing Executive Coaching with Start-Up execs in Silicon Valley.


>>>WHY SHE should want to build up a new R with you now/from this day forward? What would it be like? How would honesty and transparency be shown?

1) I am still the fun, worldly, dancing, funny, sensitive, athletic man she fell in love with, but I am NO LONGER engaging with the dark side of me that needs constant affirmation from other women.

2) I would go to her with my issues of self worth and insecurity instead of hiding them.

3) I would give up my spare apartment and serach for a new place with her in the East Bay with room for a family and a dog (what we were scheduled to do the weekend after D-Day)


>>>How are you SHOWING that you are growing?

Here's where I don't know... How do I SHOW growth to a person who doesn't want to talk to me?


- DB