DBing is a lot more than just NC. It is great that you don" initiate contacts! But you must stop spilling your guts to her. I know you see it as being honest, and I am not suggesting you tell her a lie......just stop spilling your insides!
You break up with lady friend b/c your W is jealous! Then you immediately wanted to invite W to go to concert, when advised not to invite her, you get into how you don't want to live alone. This is only an example of the crazy ride you have been on. (No need to rewrite/ the details again.)
Your W is playing you big time. She is not being as "honest" and spilling her guts like you are. She has you right where she wants you......hone and alone. If you don't want to see lady friend, fine, but don't stop seeing her b/c of W being jealous. You even spilled your guts about the R with lady friend to W (going slow, no kissing, etc.) So now your W knows what's inside your toolbox.....abd that your dates were nothing for her to be worried about. Do you see why this works against you? After telling her you were DBing, the only thing you had in your favor was her being jealous of you. But now she can leave and not worry that some woman may get you.
Do you see what I am trying to tell you? Nothing with you abd W will be resolved today. You should not be making serious decisions b/c y ou are too mixed up right now. Stay away from any communication with W for a while. (Like you told her.) Give you self time to calm down and feeling better.
It is not about what you feel should work in your M. It is about doing the work that gets the right results. Do what works!
