FY - I do agree about trying things. It is wonderful when DBing and reaching out brings the spouse back closer. But for those of us whose spouses remained 'out there' - well I know I was not alone in feeling like a terrible failure because my xh didn't respond. Wasn't I doing it 'right'
Now further on, I can see that it wasn't me, but there is a danger that those whose DBing is 'working' do not understand how desolate it is to be doing the same things and being pushed away.
I do not feel that way now - but I did and I believe that many others do. We rejoice when people rebuild, but for many people they do not give up on their spouses, their hope gradually dwindles away.
We DB for ourselves, but for most, there is hope at the outset
