WAW/MLC help

[Dave981]

My intent today was to post the history leading up to the current situation, partially because I won't talk to family or friends and partially because someone else may find similarities. If anyone is interested I will do that. What I will do is tell how I used many of the DR techniques in just to interactions with my W 2 days ago. First I sent an email (the medium is the message) in the morning to her saying that before she moves out we need to discuss some logistics about the children. Then instead of begging and pleading I did a 180 and wrote that I hope that her leaving helps her find what she is looking for, and that although I would like her to stay I respect her need for space. I told her that I want her to get the most out of this seperation, to get the space that she needs so we will want to discuss contact between us. I then told her that when we do talk it is best for me before 8 at night and not when we are in a hurry, grouchy or tired or when we will be interupted by kids (timing)
I then proceded to read DR for the 3rd time, but this time I did all the homework and wrote everything down. Don't ever skip that step! That night before 8, when the kids were watching a movie she sat down with me and said that she read my email and was ready to talk. For the first time we had a very good talk about the sitch. What I found out was that she was taking the kids with her but she really had no idea what she was doing and had not thought about any of the details! She started to talk about her unhappiness, but I lovingly and gently guided the conversation back to how this could positively change our relationship. I think WAW have tremendous guilt and feel lost and they will go into the same downward spiral talking about how they haven't been happy forever, there hasn't been good times etc. to justify why they are leaving. That would not be a solution oriented conversation. Anyway in the end she said she does not want a divorce, she loves are home and is scared to move into a new place, and that she will miss me (one of her reasons for leaving) but it is something she feels she has to do and that she truly believes that she will come back to me. I smiled at her (not being too enthusiastic) and then the kids came up and we stopped talking. Great, loving conversation thanks to DR techniques!!