Hi 2B, What I'm about to say I say out of love and concern. I truly feel a connection with all of us on this board and really want for them the best outcome possible. I did just what you are doing here, look for meaning in every interaction that isn't a spew. Well, my W sent me a text about the price of gas at Sam's, does that mean she is thinking about me and not in a "bad" way? She actually invited me to go to her grandmothers birthday party, must mean she is thawing a bit, right? I could give you a long list but in the end they meant nothing. My W wasn't ever going to be "happy" until she got what she thinks will make her that way...me out of her life, at least as a H.
Before she filed and we were talking about separation, she said that IF we ever were to get back together we would need to take it really slow, like it was all my fault that our M was ending when she was the one who refused to even go to a single MC session. They really want to blame us for their pain, their loss of direction, the feeling of having nothing to show for their life to this point. We are the problem until they are clear headed enough to see the truth.
The fact that he asked what's wrong really doesn't mean much. It may have just been a reflex. I know it's hard 2B, I feel the pain in your words and have (and still do) feel it too. But it just holds us back. After weeks of little things like you describe, one incident of her just thinking I wasn't just going to give in to something she wants and the next day she went to her L, not only filed a Final Decree but added so much crap including changing her name back to her maiden name! Almost 50 years old and she got so angry that I actually asked nicely that I keep a clock and she hates me so much she won't even be known by the name she has gone by for more than 1/2 her life!
By thinking these small things mean more than they do, all we do is set ourselves up for more hurt when it turns out it really meant nothing at all to them. Hang in there 2B. I'm not saying there isn't hope but you must be careful not to see it where it really isn't there.
