2.5 Months After D-day...and I wait

[25yearsmlc]

Thanks for this. I'm getting stuck in self-pity. I know it's not attractive. To anyone. And I know it's not fair.

I didn't really know how this was all going to turn out. I was in the throes of denial. I didn't really think about it. I was caught up in the addictive cycle of longing/craving, acting out, and shame/despair. I'm still in that cycle, but I've shifted my addictive focus on to my Ex. And I'm stuck at the longing/craving. It's called withdrawal. I know that sounds crazy, because I'm not a typical "sex addict" but I exhibit a similar pattern.

Anyway, I appreciate the GALing ideas. I'm spending a lot of time volunteering with at-risk teens. I also volunteer run a fitness bootcamp. But I could obviously always be doing more. Thanks for the suggestions.

And I will try to be less pathetic.

Sorry that came off sounding so harsh. It was the part of your thread title, that says ...."and I wait" that really hit me. It irked me.

No, you do NOT just "WAIT".

You improve. You grow. You evolve, and You become a better man.

Leading a balanced lifestyle. (Or Learning to...) with PATIENCE, and creating a support system for you, being inside a support system, so when it comes to other people in your life who need YOU, you can support them in their time of need, and let them support you when needed.

So that if & when one element is suddenly missing from your life, (whether it's cocaine or heroin or alcohol or HER,) you don't fall apart.

B/C even if your former fiancee called you tomorrow, tell me how YOU are different as a partner today. Because from where I sit, you don't sound ready for her to want more, anyhow.

Can you tell us 3 things you'd do differently WITH/FOR her?

And now, please tell us 2-3 things you'd be doing in your life that's different,[OTHER than things related to Her?

ANY New hobbies, or taking classes, or finishing your degree, getting a new physical activity that involves other people, etc.


We know she won't want to go back to the relationship you HAD.

So tell us,

WHY SHE should want to build up a new R with you now/from this day forward? What would it be like? How would honesty and transparency be shown?



How are you SHOWING that you are growing?

In sum, I want to know things you are DOING now

or planning to start in the next 30 days...

I bet it's a lot more than "waiting". Right?