I looked at your first thread and it sounds like BD was about 6 months ago? Also when I read through the first thread I'm reading a bunch of "I was a great husband, I provided for her, I have a great business, I bought us two homes..." etc. etc. Men think that material things are a measure of how great the relationship is. The more stuff we accumulate, the more our W should love and appreciate us. But women don't measure it that way at all, they want to feel loved and special. It is VERY likely that the same things you did to accumulate all your stuff (IE- work long hours, spend a lot of time focusing on how to grow the business, etc.) are the very things that made her lose her loving feelings and made her seek an OM.
DB'ing is not about figuring out what she did wrong and how to fix her and it sounds to me like that's exactly what you're trying to do. It's about owning YOUR mistakes and changing yourself and giving her time and space to sort through her own issues. I think maybe you're trying to move to restore the M too fast. You both need time and counseling to get there. Find a good counselor (there are some tools for this on MWD's site). Check into Retrouvaille. Take this slow, and don't be surprised if your W pulls back again.
