So the call last night was short, she was tired and I told her after playing with her son I was too, we talked some, I used m soft voice and was positive, but not overly upbeat .. but mwe mostly just about our S (He was off all day, just kind of grumpy and I asked him what was wrong, he didnt want to open up with me which caused me concern as he always tells me whats up ... I asked if he wanted to be with his mom, and he told me he wanted to be with both of us at the same time, I reassured him and let him knw we both love him and this has nothing to do with him, its something between her and I. I did not tell the WAW this because I know it adds pressure and guilt and looks like I am using him to get her back... I was guilty of doing this before and have refused to make that mistake again) ...we had no connection on the phone, she did have a long pause and typically I would ask what was wrong and we would go into the R talk, I did'nt pry (180 for me ... progress) and just left it at that. This morning I dropped off S , had him all ready, hair combed, fed ... she did not notice as she was running late, no hug or connection I told her to have a nice day and left to fight traffic.
I find I am detaching a bit better but need to work on the expectation aspect, the book should arrive today (tracked it last night...4 days late) so this weekend I will dive into that and have actually been considering the coaching sessions once I read the book. Funny, how I know I need to detach, but seems in the last week her and I have lost that connection again... she was telling me about work and yesterday she had a bad day there but did not want to share, I asked but did not pry after she told me "bad day but its over" (its been an on again and off again feeling for me) and it bothers me ... but all I can do is stay positive, GAL and continue my 180's
Her asking me if I want to talk, not sure if thats her reacing out, feeling lonely .. I was in the mindset she was going out with OM and just accepted it.... the fact she called me I take as a small positive though I know ... no expectations .. so we will see what the weekend brings.
