Hello. I was here about 4 yrs ago. With a H who dropped the bomb on me left our entire family, no contact with kids, and lived with OW for 8 months. We R did a lot of work (maybe not enought though) and he has been home for almost 3 years now. Drinking and depression seemed to be a huge factor in my H leaving. It is his way of coping. He still continued to drink after returning home but just small and what seemed controlled amounts. I did a lot of GAL, DB'd my butt off. I do know I have slid back into some of my old ways..(GAL)I am not perfect. BUT, I am now just this last month maybe - am seeing old "signs" and "habits" of my H returning. Indidcating to me he might be thinking of leaving again. Or, that something is going on anyway. He is drinking more, coming home late,and not letting me know of his whereabouts. He gets mad if I ask too much. He has lost weight, etc, etc, Been down this road before. I wouldn't be surprised if he tells me hes moving out?? Anyway, my dilemma is I am not sure I want to make it work this time! It sounds awful I suppose. I don't want to be divorced but I don't want to go through this again with him. Really, why should I? He is not the best example of an H and a dad to my children when he is doing these things. And I feel like forgave and moved on once but I don't think he needs another chance. Why would I want to be a person who is going to do this again?? Is this wrong? What kind of person puts there family through that, gets their family back and is so happy and then does it again??!!!!! That is my dilemma. I know from everything I learned last time that I need to GAL more..to at least keep my mind off of everything. I do love him, I don't want to be divorced but I am tired, I thought we were through this. Feedback please....anyone? 25yearsmlc? Thanks.
