Mindsink - Part 2

[mindsin]

This part stands out. The issue is that alot of this stemmed from your infidelity which you seemed perfectly fine with when you were in it. The problem is that you seem to come down 10x's harder down on her for this one affair with a guy who she feels respects her, when you had multiple A's and she didn't go after you with the same intensity as you are now.

But the key factor here is timing. I had an addiction to escorts/massage parlors, which I ended three years ago.

If a former gang member warns younger kids in his neighborhood about joining a gang, does that make him a hippocrite?

She didn't go after me with the same intensity? I'm coming down 10x harder? How do you know that?

Besides, the difference is, I showed remorse after each time I got caught. I told her I would stop. I never had intentions of leaving my wife or breaking apart my family. I was simply cake eating. I still wanted to be her husband and I wanted desperately to stop. I just didn't know how. I didn't realize the amount of pain I was causing her. In no way am I excusing what I did though.

She's saying, "I'm in an affair, and I'm not going to stop. If you don't like it, too bad." Do you not see the difference, because it's clear as day to me.

You could certainly say that my past actions led to her current action. That's fair. But at the end of the day, engaging in an affair and deciding to continue the affair is a conscious adult decision.

It really does seem like you have a do as I say and not as I do attitude when it comes to her A. Unlike your A's, you pretty much pushed her into her one by sweeping things under the rug and not truly understanding her POV.

You mean, "do as I say, and not as I DID". Big difference.

While I agree that my past led to her having this affair, it was still her choice to make.

You seem to believe that affairs are excusable. They're not -- not hers, and certainly not mine.

I've apologized for my past mistakes. I'm not asking for an apology from my wife. Maybe I was before, but not anymore. I'm done playing the blame game. I've accepted the circumstances as they are and I'm moving forward.