Finding my way - part 4

[Meghan]

A few notes at the end of separation day to remind myself of some good stuff (sentiments may change depending on the day as I move forward):

The apartment that I felt was too small feels positively palatial now. Not having a bed in the living room helps with this a good deal.

In a very related note, not sleeping in the living room looks like it could be lovely.

I'm excited that I can arrange the apartment any way that I want - put candles out, hang whatever pictures I want wherever I want, and all that jazz.

H. left a bunch of gross stuff behind - this further highlights that if we do wind up trying again in the future, some things will definitely have to change.

There are sad moments when I come across things like framed mementos or things that he made for me. But I've noticed that most of these things are from years ago and are not recent. Telling? Perhaps. Could mean a bunch of things, though.

In general, I'm feeling okay. I'm sad a lot. There are things I wish I could share with him now - funny things I read, a hug at the end of the day, my good news from earlier. But there's a clear undercurrent of freedom that I'm feeling right now that is really helping to bolster me. Things will be okay in the end, no matter how this turns out.