I am pretty happy with myself right now, I realized in the last day or so I have actually done a few 180s, the first one, which is pretty big for me, is that when has gone away in the past, I get all snarky and sarcastic, mean even, last night at the end of family night, I gave h a quick hug kiss on the cheek and told him to have a fantastic time, think it actually threw him for a loop,, second one was I would normally say that he better be available to answer the phone when the boys rang to say goodnight, instead I said that because I knew he had plans each night, perhaps it would be easier if he rang them when he was free, aand third when I was telling h how my talk went with s7 about our sitch and how he felt, I was calm and made clear points without getting emotional, basically reiterating what the councilor had said about s7 needing things to be consistent and structured, as so much had happened in the past few months, that it would be best to let the dust settle before any more changes were made (re: introducing the ow to the boys) I could tell this frustrated h no end, but this is where our kids have to come first. I wwas thinking this morning that h hasn't actually told me he's going away with ow, the only reason I know is because there's no way in hell h would go and stay in a hotel for 2 nights that cost $700. also that he doesn't bring her up in conversation at all...just interesting.