Stimulus-Response: The Experiment Continues

[GoatGal]

No worries Matt!

I couldn't "forget" his Viagra, dating profiles, and omissions of the truth if I tried!
My eyes are WIDE open, and believe me, I don't trust him to make good decisions at this time whatsoever.
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I also know that the OW thing has been over for almost a year.
I have "eyes" on him at work, as well as monitoring all expenses... and phone up until the beginning of June.
He was badmouthing her too at the end, saying it was "stupid" that she had no manners, was sort of an embarrassment to him.
(In other words--He wouldn't take her out in public where people knew him. She wasn't exactly a hot piece, if you know what I mean. Dumpy, frumpy, needy and clingy. It was destined to fail anyway. You can put lipstick on a pig, you know?)
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I had access to all phone records and never a call or text to or from her all that time. I had reports that it was "DONE" and I believe it.
I also know he did NOT have a second phone and this was someone he'd been calling 10-20 times a day, texting thousands of texts per month.

She was back with her "abusive" husband by Christmas of 2013.
(Yeah, her hubby must have been a real terror, taking care of their little ones while she was out running around! He should get a friggin medal. Like me.)
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I may still be a chump, but if H got the Viagra for a new OW he's got, then why is he trolling on the "Over 50" site? He'd be busy doing other things.

If he actually HAD a new OW, H also would be finding lots of reasons NOT to be here, but in fact is here during most of his "free time" and looks forward to staying here on the weekends.

Up until a few months ago, he openly allowed a GPS tracking system on his phone and even tried to re-install it when it goobered up.
(I finally gave up on resetting it because I realize I felt better not obsessing over everywhere he was at every moment.)

But if there had been something going on with her, or anyone else, I would have seen SOME indication, and I never did. No spending, hotels, weird gas purchases, lunches, NADA.

He leaves work promptly and gets here, then back to the friend's house.
(And no--nothing going on there. Confirmed lesbian, among other things.)
If I call the house (rarely) he's always there. He has also called me from her land-line from time to time to talk.

From the looks of his spending, he's buying lots of liquor and drinking alone at her house! That is sad, and unhealthy. But there's nothing I can do about it.
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Incidentally, the dating site came about during a week when the friend he's staying with was on vacation.
He was incredibly lonely, said he hated it, hated being alone.
Which is probably why he's never moved to get his own place!
He can afford it, it would be more convenient, he could bring new OW there...so why hasn't he?

Hmmmmmm.........

Anyhow--back to the dating site.
He probably saw one of those commercials with the happy couples and it sparked his curiosity.
It has for me too when I'm alone and feeling sorry for myself.
I'm guessing he logged on... and then it took on a life of its own.

Heck, I ALMOST SIGNED UP when I saw how many people had reviewed my profile. I was curious about what they were saying to me, who they were.
Being on there is FANTASY PLUS!

So even I can get sucked in, pretending to be someone I'm not. And I don't "prefer" anonymous internet connections.
(Except with you guys. <3 )

It's so easy to get involved with the dating site.
Of course my profile is totally fake, but people are "flirting" with me right and left. And I don't even have a picture on there!
I could be the Elephant Man for all they know.
If I were really looking for someone, I could really get over-involved.

Which of course doesn't mean that I'd ever meet anyone compatible or that he would either.

Maybe that's another reason why he's mad. He's not getting all the wonderful things he thought would be coming his way.
OW skewed his thinking that there were a million more like her out there, lining up for him, if only his old bat of a wife would just stop breathing...
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I personally think it's a way to feed his ego, and to "plan" for "when" I'm gone so he won't be alone.
Of course, I've told him that I will only leave if he divorces me, so I guess that's still his plan...
Or he never heard me. Or he's confused.
Or all of the above...

Anyhow, right now he's hardly available for a "serious relationship" and won't be for some time.
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I think the Viagra was the same thing.
Wishful thinking...planning for this great dating life which is NOT going to materialize. Or maybe he thought to use it with me at some point.
Who the heck knows?

It's funny because he always SWORE he did not have ED, that it was just ME, that he wasn't attracted to ME.
That everything worked just great with porn and OW...until it stopped working for that too.

For all I know, the Viagra is because he's rebooting from a porn addiction and is freaked out at the flatline they experience at the beginning.

I don't really know what/who it's for, it falls under the heading of "believe only half of what you see" and it's useless to spend any more time speculating on it.

It could just be more crazy thinking on his part.
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So I'm going to let him have his fantasies and see how that plays out.

I'd be really surprised if anything came of it.

You don't know my H, but he is a shadow of his former self.
He looks like hell, can hardly carry on a conversation.
He's too thin, developed a big pot belly, and he has Hep-C.

HE'S GOT NO GAME!!!!

He only got lucky with OW because she was a subordinate employee and saw him as Mr. Powerful with the wonderful wife.
Because she had been abused by her father's brother who was about my H's age when she was young. She was thirty years younger than H.
(Can you say: "Taking advantage of a messed up individual"???)

He can come off pretty powerful at work, but that's the ONLY place.
He doesn't engage with anyone except subordinate co-workers because they make him feel important.

He doesn't go anywhere or socialize except with co-workers.
That's a fact and it says a lot.


If he tries to act like Mr. Big Man on Campus on a "date", he'll just come off like an arrogant blow-hard.
I've seen him do it with me and others, and it's not pretty.
No one likes him anymore, me included.

He's also completely disinterested in anyone but HIMSELF at this point.
Not exactly a turn-on, either.
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Yes, I know there are skanks and gold-diggers all over who would hook up for him for whatever twisted reason.

But he lives at a friend's house, has very little money, a wife, a mortgage, a bunch of animals, and a lot of work to do here.
He doesn't have the time nor the energy for a "relationship" that's not hooking up in the broom closet at work!
That was the majority of their "time together". Romantic, right?

A real relationship would take work and intimacy.
And I think we all know by now that those are two areas in which he is lacking.

So none of those "potential fantasy women" are competition for me.

(And now that I've had the "tutorial", I'm pretty sure I'd catch him spending or being someplace where he gives himself away.)


I really think he's up to exactly NOTHING except wishful thinking at this point.

Just avoiding facing the issues and hanging on in Replay as long as he can.
Hopefully this phase will soon pass too.


---GGG