Dbing isn't about saving your marriage, it is about saving you. It's a "tool box" of news skills to help you learn to cope w/life, no matter whether it is w/a spouse, co-worker, family or friend. It teaches you how to interact w/others, i.e., when to respond, react, etc. The changes you make should be for and about you...not to get your spouse back. Any changes you make, must become permanent and not just a temporary fix to woo him back and you and only you have to be happy w/your changes.
As for dbing, it's not a delay tactic. The person dbing will know when they've had enough and are ready to call it quits. Keep in mind, many people in the real world db each and every day and don't know that they are doing it. It's survival skills that many learn as they go along.
As for most of the marriages ending up in divorce...many of them do because of the circumstances that take place in their respective situations. Some WAS and mlcers want a divorce asap, others drag their feet for a long time and then you have the lbs who grow tied and weary of the situation and divorce them and move on. Other lbs file for divorce to protect themselves and their financial situations. So, for now, don't think about those other scenarios. Keep your focus on you and your situation. You have to have faith, hope and tons of patience to get through this. But, ultimately, when the time comes, you will be the one to make the final decision as to whether you divorce him or if he should want to come home, decide if it is what you want.
Hang in there and stay positive! The future is unknown right now and there is no need to worry about it today. Your focus as to be on what is happening w/you today. Okay?
Sit quietly, the answers will reveal themselves when you least expect them to. The past is gone, the present is a gift and you need to focus on today, allow the future to reveal itself when it is ready.
